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Author: Joe Gatuslao - Philippines
A man going abroad to work leaves his fiancee crying.
"Don't worry, I will write you everyday,"
he said.
For years he did write her. But since he was happy
with his job, he had no immediate plans of going home.
One day, he received a wedding invitation. His girl
friend was scheduled to be married. To whom? To the mailman bringing
regularly the letters of her boy friend! Indeed, distance does make
hearts flounder.
The poor boyfriend surely explained, "What went
wrong? I sent her letters, chocolates, and flowers."
When relationships go wrong, the list of things given
and done for the person usually crops up. We say, "I have given
you this and that... I have done these things for you." It seems
that love is simply proven by the bestowal of gifts and favors.
But while presents are important, love demands what
is basic: presence of the beloved. I have observed for instance, the
orchids of my mother. When she's away for a long time, they are unhealthy
and many of them wither. But when she is around, they bloom with beautiful
flowers. My mother does nothing exceptional. She just spends much time
talking and caressing them.
I guess persons all the more require a caring presence.
Love is fundamentally a commitment to a person. We may be committed
to our business, job, hobby, sports and clubs, but strictly speaking,
they cannot love us back. Only a person can love us in return, and for
that matter the highest commitment as human beings is spending time
with those persons we love. And since people need affection and nourishment,
material things can only help up to a certain degree in fostering love.
But it can never replace the greatest gift of presence.
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